Fandom: The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

Pairing: Napoleon Solo/Illya Kuryakin

Category: gen

Rating: G

Word Count: 1,503

Notes: Written for the Colours Table Challenge – “red”

 

WARNING RED

The strobing light reached down the alley they’d ducked into and pulsed on the wall opposite like the red heartbeat of a pursuing monster. But they hadn’t been pursued here, they had been the ones on the hunt. At least that had been the plan up until they rounded the corner and saw the parked ambulance and the uniforms scurrying around a central point. They had slipped into the convenient alley to regroup.

“Someone got here before us.”

“Likely.”

They each scanned the alley, looking for different things. One nodded and the other pointed to a metal ladder.

“We’ll report first, just in case this goes any worse than it already has.”

Napoleon pulled a pen from his pocket, uncapped and activated it while Illya continued to scan for watchers, stray uniforms checking out their location or THRUSH.

“Open Channel D.”

The tinny voice of Saralynn came over the communicator, “Channel D is open. Mr. Solo?”

“Yes, is…” he was interrupted by the deeper voice of his chief.

“Mr. Solo, a report so soon?”

“We just got here and there is a commotion of some sort. Illya has an alternate plan for entering the building, provided the commotion isn’t our target.”

Illya had slid along the wall while Napoleon was talking, edging his way to the mouth of the alley to observe the ongoing mix of ambulance and police personnel. The red light flashing across his pale features made Napoleon a little ill, he had to look away, refocusing on the fire escape his partner had pointed out earlier.

There was muted noise coming over the communicator then Waverly’s voice again, “The report so far is an unidentified jumper on the sidewalk, male, possibly mid-40s, the police think he jumped from the roof.”

“May or may not be our target then.”

“And THRUSH isn’t likely to throw anyone off a roof unless they have to, they usually like to play with their prey a little more than that.”

Illya had come back into the darker shadows, standing next to Napoleon, he leaned in to speak into the communicator, “Would our target have jumped to avoid THRUSH?”

“I hope not. Carry on, gentlemen. I will monitor the local police from here for more information.”

A soft female voice said ‘Channel D closed’, even as Napoleon was capping the pen and trading it for his Special. He nodded at the fire escape and Illya was already pulling the metal steps down as his partner joined him in climbing.

The pulsing heartbeat light continued below them and Napoleon did his best to scrub the image from his mind of his partner’s face awash in that red, too much like blood.

GREEN FOR GO

They slipped in a conveniently open window and through the deserted office.  Checking the hall, Napoleon signaled an all clear to his partner.  They opened the door and proceeded down the quiet corridor in the direction of a bank of elevators.  Illya pointed toward the door marked stairs, and Napoleon nodded.  He watched as Illya checked, then entered the stairwell.  When the door closed, he punched the button and the elevator up arrow lit.

The doors slid open on another quiet hallway.  Illya was already listening at the entrance to their intended destination, glancing at Napoleon and shaking his head. 

“What, did you get a tailwind?”

“I lived three years in a fourth floor walkup, Napoleon, one flight of stairs in an office building isn’t even exercise.”

Napoleon made a dismissive harrumph, shot his cuffs and adjusted his jacket while Illya picked the lock.  “Next time you can wait for THRUSH in the elevator and I’ll take the stairs.”

Illya only rolled his eyes at his partner and drew his gun.  Napoleon drew his own and preceded Illya through the door.  They found the office as quiet as the rest of the building.

The reception area was empty, no one at the desk or under it, closet empty but for one coat and an assortment of phone books and an umbrella on the floor. 

There was a door behind the desk, also locked.  This time Napoleon picked the lock while Illya went through the drawers of the desk.

“Nothing but paperclips and movie magazines.”

“Helpful if we want to catch the latest gossip from Hollywood, not so useful for finding scientists.”

“Indeed.  Have you got that yet?”

“Impatient Russian,” Napoleon muttered as the lock gave and the knob turned.

When the door swung open there was finally sounds of habitation, the soft sobbing of a girl and the soothing sounds of a deep voice trying to calm her.

“I didn’t mean to, I mean, I know what it can do, but, I just didn’t…”

“Shh, shh now, I know you didn’t, and really, it was self defense if you think about it.  Now dry your eyes, there’s a girl, it’s going to be fine.”

The room had obviously been ransacked, drawers were on the floor, their contents spilled out, some papers with footprints on them.  They surveyed the room, only the man and woman on the couch occupied it.

Napoleon led with his special, but recognized the man on the couch and holstered his gun, Illya more slow to follow suit.

“Doctor Collins?” 

“You must be Alexander’s men, yes?”

“Napoleon Solo,” he held out his hand and shook the doctor’s hand.  “My partner Illya Kuryakin.”  Illya nodded from the window where he was watching the drama on the street below.

“Let’s go before whoever did this decides to return for a rematch.”  Illya moved from the window toward the door and the girl burst into tears again.

“Your smooth way with girls never ceases to amaze me, tovarisch.”

It was Illya’s turn to harrumph.

“My apologies, gentlemen, Miss Green has had a difficult evening.”  Dr. Collins took another tissue from a crumpled box and handed it to the girl.  Her sobs again subsided.  “But your partner is right, the effects will wear off soon and they will no doubt return.”

They left as they had arrived, quietly and on the fire escape.  Once locked in the motor pool sedan and on the way back to headquarters, Dr. Collins started to tell them what happened.  He finished his tale once they were all in Mr. Waverly’s office. 

“So you see, Alexander, the plant extract I found will act as a sort of temporary hypnotic, bypassing the logic center of the brain and causing the victim to become very suggestible.  I had just sprayed those THRUSH men with the substance when one of them grabbed Miss Green in an overly familiar fashion and she told him to take a flying leap.  So he did.  Right off the roof.”

The girl in question had been sedated and taken to Medical, where she would be sleeping off the effects for several hours. 

“I may never eat green vegetables again,” Alexander said.

“No worries there, you would have to eat several hundred pounds of plant matter in the correct combination all in one sitting to create the kind of toxic levels you would need to recreate this.”  Collins continued, “The effects will last for an hour or so, usually there is no memory of what happened.”  He pulled a small green spray bottle from his pocket and another white one.  “This is the preventative,” he pushed the white one forward.  “One spray of that will keep the effects of the toxin from affecting you.  That is how Miss Green and I escaped the effect when I dosed the THRUSH men.”

“We will analyze this for a formula then.”  Waverly pushed the bottles toward Illya.

“That won’t be necessary, I can recreate my destroyed notes for you, though you are welcome to run whatever test you like.  Those are the only samples.”

“THRUSH didn’t take your notes?” Napoleon asked.

“No.  As soon as I realized they had tracked us, I burned every scrap of paper involved.  Then I hid out there at my cousin’s office and called Alexander.  THRUSH made off with the last three years of United States tax code in two very heavy boxes.  I’m afraid they will be disappointed, or possibly bored to tears.”

“You have the formula memorized then?”  Illya asked as he pocketed the bottles.

“No, not me.  But Miss Green has an amazing memory, practically photographic.  If she has read something, she can recite it back to you.  And she typed up all my notes, so she remembers everything there is to know about the herbal extract and it’s effect.”

“So it really was self defense.  If THRUSH had gotten her, they would have the formula.”  Napoleon said.

“Yes, Mr. Solo, that is why I took the risk of trying the spray on them, to see if I could command them to leave without us and we would be safe from the effect.”

“You mean that you hadn’t tried it out, this preventative?”

“Well, yes.  But the alternative was leaving Miss Green to the mercy of THRUSH.”

“Which is no mercy at all.”  Napoleon said.