Fandom: The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

Category: gen

Rating: G

Word Count: 203

Notes: Written for the LiveJournal group MFUWSS December 2009 Challenge #10 – “elf”

 

“I absolutely, completely, and in all ways refuse.”

“But Illya —”

“No.”

“You’ve worn more embarrassing disguises that this…”

“True. Each time while on a mission — and out of necessity. This —” The Russian held up a pair of green leggings. “I’d rather face a firing squad.” He tossed the limp bundle at his partner.

Solo tossed them right back. “It is for a mission, Illya — to bring joy to the Christmas season. You know I wouldn’t ask you to dress up as an Elf for no good reason!”

“No, you wouldn’t,” Kuryakin agreed, trying on the green felt hat, “but you’d still enjoy it way too much! And why, exactly, were you chosen to be St. Nicolas?”

Solo grinned. “Because I know who has been naughty and who has been nice.”

“Only if they are girls and above the age of consent.”

“Oh, Illya… they’re all nice!”

Kuryakin rolled his eyes.

“Waverly is expecting me to appear as Santa Claus, and Santa needs his Little Helper. And you are it!”

“Maybe I’ll get lucky and there will be a global crisis which we will be compelled to attend.”

“If there is… you’ll still have to wear the tights. And the curly shoes!”